For all the time spent trying to figure out, trying to put it on to paper, for all the love, for all the things that i had to say and never said, for all the things i still cant explain and i still cant put to paper, for the whole 5 years late...
For everytime she cried, she puffed, and I freezed...
For
May,
she's the one in all my favorite songs, and she's the one singing them for me...
she's the one that makes this world a less cruel place, sometimes a bit difficult to understand how she can manage to do so... when u go deep, how can someone replace all that crueltly, hatred and racism with love...
Her eyes blaze when looking at u, they dont sparkle, they lit, and there u see, u see urself in there.. all naked, and vulnurable but safe.. u let go... u dont believe that it's u, it cant be, no one can see through people, u lose focus when she's looking, the world blurs, and when u come back to reality u realized that u're crying...
She's Maya, Nino, Maria, Catherine, Charlotte. Sophie... she's thE "Female", she's every charachter in all ur favorite novels, she's everything anyone ever written.. she's the poem that u can't write... so u can only borrow the words...
She's the reason why Humans developed tools, she's why they invented writing, why Ghenghis Khan invaded the world, why the World War II happened, why that butterfly out there in the far fluttered its wings... so u can meet her.
She's the proof that humanity is limitless, because she's not just so human, It's not only the fact that she's the real image of every destinctive particle in this human rrace, of every good thing or bad thing about us, of every intention and instinct they witnessed, she's a musuem, a moving piece of art... to me, there cant be a more real painting of this humanity than her, but it's not just that, she's more than Human... she's what human race can be... she's the proof that we can be gods. that we are gods.
Yeah she's a goddess, and I believe it.
I believe in god now, I know that feeling now... this is where I find my tranquility... for a whole year, this was the main question... for a whole 19 years this was my only hope... I believe now... I'm a reason now, I'm a basis, I'm a unique, I'm a believer, and she's my goddess.
She's my promise, the promise that I only told to myself, the promise that isnt a promise as much as a fact.
She's a soft breeze, a smell, a touch and a feel... the basics of sensing this world, she's the facts... the elements and the theories...
She's my oedipus complex, She's every sickness and every cure...
She's Astarte, the lion, the horse and the sphinx...
She's My latakia, My Syria, Egypt, Earth, The Universe and what's beyond, She's Me.
She's mine, and she's everybody else's... she's us, and us is for the world...
She's my fairy tale, just like i dreamed of it when i was a little boy... and for some odd reason, It doesnt feel weird that it EXACTLY happened the way i want it to be... it feels so normal, when u think of it, u dont believe it, but when u let ur feeling out.. it just tells u that this is normal... this is u, that's her.. and that's US... it's normal.. it couldnt happen any other way aslan... for us both...
She's every sigh, tear or smile that come out of me when i say B7ebbek...
وتحت سقف الليل والمطر
وبحضور الخوف... والأسماء... والعناصر
وكل ما لا اسم له في الكون
أعلن حبي لك واتحادي... بحزن عينيك
وأرض الزهر في بلادي
...
Some stuff that I should've said so long ago.. I've written and deleted them so many times, I don't say them because when I re-read back I realize how frail my language is... how short it falls behind what I wanna say, and how stupid and small they are to the truth...
when u read this, take that fact into consideration...
She's way beyond every word here, she's way beyond my ability to write or say... i can only feel it...