Having to spend the whole night thinking about ur life, and ur "future" and whether it's worth the hassle, that's one thing... but having to do that when ur already on a medium-level food poisoning [as I discovered today]... that's a completely different issue...
That's exactly what we are, in a broader sense, we're just some 6 billion pre-history fragile left-overs, with a mind set to the crisis of "raison d'etre"!!
that was well-simplified... I can sleep quite well tonight.
Next april, I'll be flying from Damascus, the world's oldest city, to Tokyo, the world's most modern city... [Another question, Why are we as humans so fascinated with paradox?]!
I'm going to arrive at Narita airport after a 25h flight, someone will be holding my name on some plastic board.. he'll bable some welcome words in a language that I'm yet to discover, and then lead me to a Taxi that'll take me to my dorms in Arakawa district... where I'll unflod my stuff.. lie on my bed, and start staring at the ceiling..
And then what?! I might go out and find someone to talk to, anyone... because it'd be hard to stay alone without thinking about Latakia and who's in the l'Expresse cafe right now!!
I wanna have it all, I want a japanese-quality study in a japanese language with lots of japanese ppl, in my own hometown of latakia... and ofcourse with some kaiten-sushi places all around town... along side la Casta and l'Express... I wanna have Tishreen University and across the stree have Tokyo University of Foreign Studies!
Talk about compromise!!!
But, What if they bombed Syria while I'm there, worst case scenario... Syria killed Hariri, they won't let go... NATO "carpetbombs" Damascus, the oldest city in the world...
I wish I hadn't read Khaled Azm's Diaries!!! I wish I hadn't known what we were, and what we could be... saying "Fuck it.." and moving away would be much easier... wouldn't it?! I donno... maybe it's not Azm, maybe it's Syria, this overwhelming feeling of chauvinism just being Syrian
and in the same time this overwhelming feeling of disgust and disappointment!!
One thing I've been thinking of, are they gonna allow me to display the Syrian flag in my room!!!
We're such a beautiful race, human beings... with our crisis of being... we have been able to simplify the answer to the most complicated universal matter... as in, Do u think that there are other living beings outside of this planet?! Across the Universe...?!
Jostein Gaarder, holds this quite "simple" question in his novel Maya [My FAVORITE, even better than the most-famous Sophie's World], 4 ppl answer "Yes" and another 4 answer "No"... 1 answers "I don't know"... the latter couldn't be much further from the truth... isn't it beautiful that 50% of those ppl sitting at that table have answered correctly to one of life's most incredibly complicated questions... that's how simple life is!! and that's how complicated us Humans are! It's a Yes or No question!!! it doesn't matter which... what matters is that IT IS!!!
Israel and Palestine seem very trivial looking at it from outer space... and that's the only true way to look at it... what matters is Life.. not land... We should start to fight for life [if there is such a thing, as fighting for life], Land and Death are just minor details...
So, Damscus, is the oldest City on this earth, but that wouldn't have meant a dying rat's ass to me if it didn't hold the breaths and symbols of the oldest lives... the oldest kings and Gods!!! that's what Damascus is... That's what my Syria is... It's a glaring shout of Humanity.. it's the face of every human being that lived on this earth... it's the undying thought of Humanity!!! Just like u can find Beirut, Amman, London, Tokyo, New York, Copenhagen, Manilla, and New Delhi in Damascus.. u can find Damascus in all of them...
I've drifted off from wherever I was going!!!!
Cheers for us humans!