I hate this,
I hate this damn feeling of helplessness infront of that paper. Words are in my mind, vague shapes, and stroke orders, I KNOW THEM, I know the reading, I know the fucking kanji... but my hands arent working.
I spent half the time staring at my physics paper. How am I supposed to explain Newton's law in Japanese.
HOW? HOW? HOW?
I can see the page, I can see the writing, I can revise it in my head, Arabic is ofcourse easy, english is not that hard neither... but the fucking switch to japanese, doesn't work.. it just goes blank. I switch again, I start "drawing" the missing words in my answer... erasing, and writing again. The weirdest sentence patterns any japanese had ever seen.
I hate it.
I was about to scream, when I looked at this Kanji that I underlined 3 times while I was studying, and I just couldn't remember the stroke order. it wen blank. SHISETU. half an hour before the exam, I was joking with Miro that I'm gonna forget this kanji exactly because I studied it a lot. but when it happened it didnt feel funny. I was about to cry.
All is not good. relatively.
Although, Good times are coming soon,
But, Tomorrow, another day of helplessness infront of a Grammar paper, and then a chemistry one.
Thursday. Maths. Where I pick up [hopefully] those shreds of self-confidence scattered around.
cheers for now. drink for me people. for I cant.