"To the impartial eye, the world not only seems an unlikely one-off phenomenon, but a constant strain on reason. If reason exists, that is, if a neutral reason exists. So speaks the voice from within. So speaks Joker's voice." - Jostein Gaarder

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


I hate this,

I hate this damn feeling of helplessness infront of that paper. Words are in my mind, vague shapes, and stroke orders, I KNOW THEM, I know the reading, I know the fucking kanji... but my hands arent working.

I spent half the time staring at my physics paper. How am I supposed to explain Newton's law in Japanese.


I can see the page, I can see the writing, I can revise it in my head, Arabic is ofcourse easy, english is not that hard neither... but the fucking switch to japanese, doesn't work.. it just goes blank. I switch again, I start "drawing" the missing words in my answer... erasing, and writing again. The weirdest sentence patterns any japanese had ever seen.

I hate it.

I was about to scream, when I looked at this Kanji that I underlined 3 times while I was studying, and I just couldn't remember the stroke order. it wen blank. SHISETU. half an hour before the exam, I was joking with Miro that I'm gonna forget this kanji exactly because I studied it a lot. but when it happened it didnt feel funny. I was about to cry.

All is not good. relatively.


Although, Good times are coming soon,

But, Tomorrow, another day of helplessness infront of a Grammar paper, and then a chemistry one.

Thursday. Maths. Where I pick up [hopefully] those shreds of self-confidence scattered around.


cheers for now. drink for me people. for I cant.


Blogger Olavia Kite said...

Oh, the helplessness...!!! Can't take it anymore...!!!

November 28, 2006 5:35 PM

Blogger Sam... said...

Man,... i hate those blackouts when they happen....
I just hate it when it happen....

Just take it easy and focus on the next exam.....

Good luck

November 28, 2006 6:49 PM

Blogger Shadi said...

Wish you all the luck!
Kanjis are really a never-ending story, but they are very much like-able!
After you finish this exams craze, I guess you can play with the kanjis a little bit everyday! They are never memorizeable under stress, they need to be "absorbed" somehow.
If you are into challenging stuff, you might like to try Heisig's totally different approach to Kanjis http://www.ziggr.com/heisig/

Or you might rather decide on keeping the traditional apprach. In that case I highly recommend you to have RikaiChan https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/2471/ in firefox and thunderbird. It will help building the vocabulary, but unlike Heisig's, it wont really help in the stroke-order.

Hope this comes handy some time in the future. Good luck for the following couple of days!


November 28, 2006 8:09 PM

Blogger Bint El Golan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

November 28, 2006 8:45 PM

Blogger Bint El Golan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

November 28, 2006 8:46 PM

Blogger abufares said...

Ninja Turtles... in japanese

November 29, 2006 3:05 AM

Blogger Yazan said...

Yes yes my friend!! the helplessness...

yeah, i guess...

Shadi, I got heisig's book. actually it was a present from a syrian friend here... although i didnt have enough time to go through it, I read the intro and it's quite intersting...

Well, until now, I still cant read 90% of the road signs... and i probably wont get to the point where I read "newspapers" until next year.. so....
there's a lot of kanjis.. a lot Razan. it's depressive.//
Although, I've been reading japanese litr. in english... I've only read Haruki Murakami's so far though...

@abu fares
u mean this... 忍者亀?

November 29, 2006 1:09 PM

Anonymous Sleepless said...

I will have a drink for you from Russia where I am now : )

A real toast to you with real Russian Vodka, you only need a few shots of this and you'll be writing poetry in Japanese, trust me ;)

November 29, 2006 1:32 PM

Anonymous MQabbani said...

tell me about it ..

am stuck always like this in Chinese stuff ,done the language structure just still need to memorize alot and alot it's make my head like puzzle and dizzy

wish u all luck : )

November 29, 2006 1:45 PM

Blogger Dee-Vine said...

good luck yaz, i know that you'll do just fine :)

November 30, 2006 8:43 AM


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