"To the impartial eye, the world not only seems an unlikely one-off phenomenon, but a constant strain on reason. If reason exists, that is, if a neutral reason exists. So speaks the voice from within. So speaks Joker's voice." - Jostein Gaarder

Thursday, March 30, 2006

A Farewell

6 Years of my life, Today.

Whether I liked it or not, wanted it or not, these people are a part of who I am now.
And I am a part of each one of them. no matter how small or big it is. They Are, and I Am.

And I am grateful for each and every one of them, for who I am.

You make me believe in this green and blue Earth of ours.

Zied [in the background]
Maad, Tsoleir, Madonna, Dimah, Rasha, Bashar
Yara, Me, Lujain, Ali

Thank you. For the brilliant evening, for the lovely parts of you that u gave me, and most importantly for your love.

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time of war, and a time of peace.

Paulo Coelho - Eleven Minutes

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Incoherent Bullshit 2

A Once in a lifetime CAN happen twice, and most probably WILL. but, again, most probably you WON'T take notice.

A turned off mobile phone does NOT recieve messages, no matter how long you stare at it, no matter how hard you want to believe it does. 101 Technology.

نحن سلالة لا تدخل الأوطان إلا من منافيها

Nour Eddin Badran - My dad. About his grandfather, his father, himself and me.

"Mankind is condemned to freedom, and thus must accept the responsibility."

Again, There's nothing more disgusting and shameful than taking away a life. except the public consent on such act. i.e. Death Penalty.

Sarcasm is one of life's most creative arts.

We DO have the right to caricature God.

I screwed up my well-built belief system, in a month. Now, I only have scatters of non-related feelings that I believe in, and I have no idea how they will be manifested. But I know they will. And I don't regret it. Tranquility, is it?.

Hey you,
Out there in the cold,
Getting lonely, getting old,
Can you feel me?
Hey you,
Standing in the aisle,
With itchy feet and fading smile,
Can you feel me?
Hey you,
Don't help them to bury the light.
Don't give in without a fight.
Pink Floyd - Hey You [My All time favorite rock song, from my all time favorite rock band] - Read the Lyrics.

Flight plan:
April 3rd, 17:35 - EK912 Damascus - Dubai [Emirates]
April 4th, 02:50 - EK316 Dubai - Osaka [JAL]
April 4th, 18:40 - EK6252 Osaka - Tokyo [JAL]

Ziad Rahbani is somehow a typical Stalinist. But that does not [IN ANY WAY] mean that he's not one of the most creative souls in our modern history.

It doesn't matter what u think, it doen't matter how u classify yourself or how people classify you. Actions are what matters. Actions, my friend. [Makes a perfect combination with the last thought]

Khaled Azm [A 5 time Prime-Minister of Syria]. Does not have a single photo of him, a single indication of his name. Anywhere in Damascus, not even in his own house.

This post is largely just a reminder of other stuff I wrote. A try to overcome this thinking stalemate I've been experiencing.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Me. Recommends.

Me. Recommends. New. Old. Discoveries.

Laco Tayfa - Laco Tayfa... Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful. Turkish Music with a BRILLLLIANT western-style sound editing.

Soap Kills - Bater... A Lebanese electro-rythem band with a beautiful Arabization. music that will go deep inside

From Me To Blue...The Beatles [Covers], going JAZZ.

Arielle Dambasle - Amor Amor... With covers of songs like Besame Mucho. "Amor Amor" is my favorite album for a while now.

Ziad Rahbani - Behalshakel... a Live concert. absolutly magical music.

Me. Recommends. Unique. All. Time. Favorites.

A-Ha - Lifelines... it's always there somehow.

Damien Rice - O... The merciless stiff side of Music with the most delicate and soft pieces.

Dido - No Angel... Forget "White Flag" forget all her pop stupid music. This album is a unique piece of ART, Dido's magical voice with Rollo's beautiful sound editing. Brilliant Brilliant.

Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Californication... My never-dying classic piece of ROCK.

Placebo - Sleeping With Ghosts... Very Very solid memories.

Pink Floyd - The Wall... no need to explain.

Keane - Hopes and Fears... Soft Rock that'll sweep u offfff.

Travis - The Invisible Band... Nights and Nights spent studying stupid trigonometry and listening to this particular album.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Tra ra ra raaa....

Feeling: High.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Syria Planet...

Syria Planet
The online portal for ALL Syrian Bloggers has finally kicked off in its Beta version.

The site aggregates all (known) Syrian blogs, Blogs of foriegners living or writing about Syria.

The main purpose of this site is to introduce the Syrian Blogsphere to the world. in an easy convinient way.
We hope that eventually it will encourage more syrians to go into the world of blogging.

I stringly believe that blogging can be a very efficient way for social, cultural and political change. And I hope this site can give yet another push to the exciting boom of Syrian Blogs that happened last year.

Syria Planet | Thoughts Of Syrian Bloggers Across The Globe

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


1 [uncountable and countable] the feeling of being annoyed, upset, or impatient, because you cannot control or change a situation, or achieve something:
People often feel a sense of frustration that they are not being promoted quickly enough.
2 [uncountable] the fact of being prevented from achieving what you are trying to achieve
Source: Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English.

Is it?

I donno, I know that...

Frustration, is a short story from Zakaria Tamer's "Damascus Fire - Dimashq al-7ara2eq".
Where a girl trades her body for a stiff bread loaf, and when the guy can't seem to be man enough for it, he leaves her moaning and takes off with the bread. and realizing that ur going through both everyday. draining urself to the limit. and then running away with the bits like a hydrophobic.

Frustration, is being a stranger in your own country.

Frustration, is getting an email from ur Senior Counceling Lecturer saying it's highly not recommended [and most probably not possible] to leave Japan during ur first year there.

Frustration, is not being able to see someone's face while talking, laughing or crying.

Frustration, in not being able to go and stand with them infront of the Justice Department in Damascus this thursday, them who will get beaten for calling for their basic rights, calling for YOUR basic rights. That u urself have been blabbering about it all across this blog. u can't do it cuz it might mean that u wouldn't get that seat on a plane going to tokyo. Ashamed as well, Frustrated and Ashamed.

Frustration, is being choked by the language's inadequacy to describe a very simple feeling. Or, ur own inadequacy to do that.

Frustration, is the thought of giving up on future. even if it's a minute, one-time thought.

Frustration, is not being able to sleep for 2 days. Allergy is Frustration.

Frustration, is watching a table of blood thirsty warlords talking about Peace and Democracy.

Frustration, is to turn this blog into a place where I bitch about myself.

Frustration, Time is frustration.

Life, reading, news, music, porn, laundry, cigarettes, vodka, headaches, neighbours, quietness, success, waiting... they're all frustration.

What's not Frustration?

Knowing that all that is relative.
Finding the |Absolute|.
Simple words, like "Years".
An SMS Message.

and a music piece by Ziad and Sami 7awat. That can cover for when the language, ur language falls short.

Good night everbody, I need to get some sleep. I need to get some dreams.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

March 8th - 43 Years...

43 Years of "Revolution"...

43 years of Emergency Laws.

43 Years of legalized torture.

43 Years of legalized political repression.

43 Years of legalized corruption.

43 years of "The State and Society Leading Party".

43 Years of deteriorating economics.

43 Years of blooming sectarianism.

43 Years a Golan occupied.

43 Years a Syria lost...

43 Years since Khaled al-Azm... We're still waiting.

Sunday, March 05, 2006


I'm leaving.

About 22 days left for me here.
I don't feel guilty, I just feel bitter.. I feel helpless, I feel like a complete nothing.

I miss every single bit of every single person, I miss every single bit of sound of this city, I miss every color of this place...

I hate to think that I'm gonna grow up on my own now.

Life's not fair, it smiles while slapping u on the face. each time harder than the last.

I started packing today, I started leaving.

Maad, Zeid, Yazan...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

A Sectarian Syria...

هذا الحديث دار في باحة حمام السوق في دمشق القديمة... الأسبوع الماضي

أهلين وسهلين. شو الشباب شكلون مو من الشام؟
إي والله من اللاذقية
أهلين. يعني من اللاذقية نفسها وللا من 'الضيع'؟
جواب من أحد الأشخاص... إي من الضيع. من القرداحة. ليش في شي؟

This conversation took place only last week, in the hall of a Souq Bath [Hammam] in old Damascus.

- Welcome, I reckon u guys aren't from Damascus, right?
- Not really, we're from Latakia.
- Oh, u mean from Latakia itself or the 'countryside'?
- An answer from one guy... Yes from the countryside, Qardaha, is there a problem?
- !!!

YES, They did turn Syria into a sectarian shit-hole, just waiting to explode.


Yaz and May !!

well...i wanna share another love story .. not as good as Sambo's but the heros
are in love as deep as sambo is...

Kan ya Makan

there was a young girl and a young boy who met long ago ..
well, five years
ago... the girl was stupid and the boy was blind...


they met again this year....
fell in love befor they met...
the girl knew but he didnt
when they met they felt it right away .. he felt it...

tried to hide but it was stronger then him
then both of them

were togther for a week....

she had the best week of her life .. he did too

but then they were seperated again...

well life is not fair you see ,,, but they are...

now few days are behind them

lots of years to come

touta wala maltouta
mish ha2oul khelset el hadouta..

Absence to love is wind to fire .. it puts out the small, and inflames the big


Yaz & May

It started.

Humans, always obsessed with endings,
a stupid pattern,
always reapeating themselves.
ending, is it?
it's always starting,
but as everything, we never see it,
we never feel it,
we need to learn it,
ever, will we feel it?