"To the impartial eye, the world not only seems an unlikely one-off phenomenon, but a constant strain on reason. If reason exists, that is, if a neutral reason exists. So speaks the voice from within. So speaks Joker's voice." - Jostein Gaarder

Monday, February 27, 2006

Miniatures of Me...

Zena's post triggered my own nostalgia, She was talking about her 7th grade old Scrap Book...

I have a 7th grade old drawer, 2 actually...
Drawers of everything... small details most ppl wouldn't even notice... but to a sicko like me, they capture a moment, they capture a feeling... I have a gift of recalling feelings, vividly... that's why I hold on to every little thing that can help me, a bus ticket, a chocolate from a friend... or an old paper with a French homework scrambled on it...

I still have my cousin's piano recital brochure, I have a plane ticket Latakia-Cairo-Latakia dated June 28th 2002...

I have the pen I did my prove [9th grade] exams with... I still have my bakaloria pen...

I have the only copy of a Magazine we edited as a school homework in 10th grade, I still laugh hysterically when I read it...

I have 3 papers of the only attempt I had to write a journal, 3 days... everytime I read them I wish I had a journal... bas I know I couldn't write one, it'd be too freaking painful.

Italian Corner, l'Express bills... Laundry bills...

Placebo gig ticket, loads of phone cards and little stuff from Egypt.

All the scraps and drafts, chaotic, idiotic but youthful and full of life, papers, projects, drafts for change... projects to make syria [what we thought] a better place... written with hundreds of names I can't remember half of em nowو throughout hundreds of nights of vodka and dreaming.
A scrap from Al-Thawra newspaper calling for the supervisors of al-Mahaba festival to boycott Lebanese artists...

My Grades Sheets [jala2aty] since first class, since kindergarten...

A bag, with all the clothes price tags I could get...

My Tishreen Basketball club card...

Up on the attic, I have all my paintings in Beirut, the place where I used to paint... I still find it weird that I never really painted unless I was in Beirut, at my dad's. Lots of papers with a sun, river and mountains... Israeli airplanes and Syrian air force bombing them. God with a satanic look, Family, Friends, people I don't know. Meaningless lines of a 4 years old kid.

Each one of these things is someway or another a part of me, they're all in core miniatures of me, my life…


This is what I do, when it gets hard "to be a human", this is what I do... for when it feels lonely and fucked up, I can open my drawer and look at a postcard that reads...

حبيبنا يزن
ونحن نرحل من خيبة إلى خيبة
هل تسمح لنا أن نقاسمك هذا النجاح؟
فرحنا
وكأن الناجح نحن



I opened this drawer today, to put a small Egypt flag, a small red booklet from Cairo Airport Duty Free, and an "Astra Travel" airplane ticket case... another set of feelings... another part of me.

4 Comments:

Blogger Ihsan said...

I posted this at Zeina's..I guess it goes here, even though I wanted to say that we escape the cruel present to the warmth of the past when we feel lonely...but didn't wanna say that in a girl's blog...you know...the political correctness shit :D

===========
In many times, there is nothing that makes feel better than escaping the cruel present to the warmth of the past; that maybe, at that time, seemed as cruel as our present!

I do that too....
===========

However, man, I was going through the stuff that you have kept..oh man..do u know my grandmother? :D

February 27, 2006 7:00 AM

 
Blogger Ihsan said...

and yeah...make sure you pack as many of these stuff as you can..don't care about extra wait....they will be ten times more valuable for you in Japan!

April it is?

I have met some Japanese people, they are extra nice and polite... and have not yet seen any drunk Asians in here! Their favourite drink is "Hot water".....yeah man, it sucks...but at least...it does not make them act like fools the way people do when they get drunk!

February 27, 2006 7:05 AM

 
Blogger Zaher said...

I have a special Drawer 2 ..after we moved it became a special bag in the attic .
but i'm making a new one
i can't stop collecting things , one of the special things is my little sister toe nails when she was 1 month :D

btw
the price tags thingy .. i love it i had a bag full of them but my little sister used to play with them as fake money :D

February 27, 2006 9:17 AM

 
Blogger Zena said...

Hey Yazan,

Keeping stuff is great, I still have alot of things, my school papers, verses I wrote, pictures,boxes and many other.

It is a great feeling, I even have a paper of female /male names I like.

Small things, maybe trivial for others, but important to me.
I'm happy that you understand that, not all people do....

February 27, 2006 8:48 PM

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home