"To the impartial eye, the world not only seems an unlikely one-off phenomenon, but a constant strain on reason. If reason exists, that is, if a neutral reason exists. So speaks the voice from within. So speaks Joker's voice." - Jostein Gaarder

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Food Poinsoning, and other human-related stuff

Having to spend the whole night thinking about ur life, and ur "future" and whether it's worth the hassle, that's one thing... but having to do that when ur already on a medium-level food poisoning [as I discovered today]... that's a completely different issue...

That's exactly what we are, in a broader sense, we're just some 6 billion pre-history fragile left-overs, with a mind set to the crisis of "raison d'etre"!!
that was well-simplified... I can sleep quite well tonight.

Next april, I'll be flying from Damascus, the world's oldest city, to Tokyo, the world's most modern city... [Another question, Why are we as humans so fascinated with paradox?]!

I'm going to arrive at Narita airport after a 25h flight, someone will be holding my name on some plastic board.. he'll bable some welcome words in a language that I'm yet to discover, and then lead me to a Taxi that'll take me to my dorms in Arakawa district... where I'll unflod my stuff.. lie on my bed, and start staring at the ceiling..

And then what?! I might go out and find someone to talk to, anyone... because it'd be hard to stay alone without thinking about Latakia and who's in the l'Expresse cafe right now!!

I wanna have it all, I want a japanese-quality study in a japanese language with lots of japanese ppl, in my own hometown of latakia... and ofcourse with some kaiten-sushi places all around town... along side la Casta and l'Express... I wanna have Tishreen University and across the stree have Tokyo University of Foreign Studies!

Talk about compromise!!!

But, What if they bombed Syria while I'm there, worst case scenario... Syria killed Hariri, they won't let go... NATO "carpetbombs" Damascus, the oldest city in the world...
I wish I hadn't read Khaled Azm's Diaries!!! I wish I hadn't known what we were, and what we could be... saying "Fuck it.." and moving away would be much easier... wouldn't it?! I donno... maybe it's not Azm, maybe it's Syria, this overwhelming feeling of chauvinism just being Syrian and in the same time this overwhelming feeling of disgust and disappointment!!

One thing I've been thinking of, are they gonna allow me to display the Syrian flag in my room!!!

Damn, nevermind...

We're such a beautiful race, human beings... with our crisis of being... we have been able to simplify the answer to the most complicated universal matter... as in, Do u think that there are other living beings outside of this planet?! Across the Universe...?!
Jostein Gaarder, holds this quite "simple" question in his novel Maya [My FAVORITE, even better than the most-famous Sophie's World], 4 ppl answer "Yes" and another 4 answer "No"... 1 answers "I don't know"... the latter couldn't be much further from the truth... isn't it beautiful that 50% of those ppl sitting at that table have answered correctly to one of life's most incredibly complicated questions... that's how simple life is!! and that's how complicated us Humans are! It's a Yes or No question!!! it doesn't matter which... what matters is that IT IS!!!

Israel and Palestine seem very trivial looking at it from outer space... and that's the only true way to look at it... what matters is Life.. not land... We should start to fight for life [if there is such a thing, as fighting for life], Land and Death are just minor details...

So, Damscus, is the oldest City on this earth, but that wouldn't have meant a dying rat's ass to me if it didn't hold the breaths and symbols of the oldest lives... the oldest kings and Gods!!! that's what Damascus is... That's what my Syria is... It's a glaring shout of Humanity.. it's the face of every human being that lived on this earth... it's the undying thought of Humanity!!! Just like u can find Beirut, Amman, London, Tokyo, New York, Copenhagen, Manilla, and New Delhi in Damascus.. u can find Damascus in all of them...

I've drifted off from wherever I was going!!!!

Cheers for us humans!

15 Comments:

Blogger Shannon said...

I will be the first on the streets to protest any bombing of Damascus. I hope someone in power somewhere has some reason...

I hate those nights when your mind is so preoccupied and won't let your exhausted body rest. If only such things as the crisis over our raison d'etre faded over time...

January 05, 2006 11:55 PM

 
Anonymous maya said...

i always wondered why people (including me) are so proud to be syrian...the system sucks the future looks bleak...all we have is the past and the people...maybe this nationalism is there beacause most of us grew up taking "tarbeeyeh kawmeeyyeh" and chanting meaningless things in "ta7eeyyat el-3alam" every morning...sad to see how many people believed it or didnt...sucks either way...

try reading dostoyevsky's "notes from the underground" it's a small book and a quick read..

January 06, 2006 9:16 AM

 
Blogger Yazan said...

@maya
No Maya, it's not that... it's just that we're Syrian... I know how stupid what i said sounds.. but believe it, We're Syrians!! We're just syrians [No Prefix, No Suffix... JUST Pure Syrians]... All of those who lived here became syrians... We're not Arab Syrians, We're not Kurdish Syrians, We're Not Armenian Syrians.. we're syrians.. and it's not stupid, and it has nothing to do with the regime, it has nothing to do ta7eit al-3alam, it started way before that, it started way before god himself!!! it started when the first mammel blabbed "Syria"!!!!! ;)
The future DOES NOT Suck... unless we believe it does, We're Syrians Maya, u don't feel how strong this word is?!!! The system Sux!! ofcourse it does, The society?!! tell me about it... Generations of lies and ignorance YEAH!!!
but guess what, it's not even close to what we were in 1916.. ;)!! We just need to believe again, to believe in our Syria!!!

I'll try to get the book... but mean while, give it a thought, I can bet "tarbieh kawmeeeyeh" has nothing to do with what we feel...

January 06, 2006 9:38 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i all for dropping this "looking after ARAB interests" and lets worry about Syria's for a change..

January 06, 2006 1:56 PM

 
Anonymous MaYa said...

Syria (the way i think see it anyway) happenend in 1932...unless you're talking about greater syria which i don't agree with..
i'm not saying that our kawmeeyeh classes can take all the credit for people being nationalists...but at the same time you can't deny that being brought up in schools teaching nationalism from "the party's" point of view is bound to affect how people understand "واقعنا" ..none of us can see things in an objective way...
i never said the future sucks...just that it looks bleak...don't u agree??
doesn't mean we're doomed...
believing is not enough yazan... people have to actually start DOING things for a change...
p.s:i'm going to "shem hawa el-sham" in a few days inshallah :) i'm going home :D !!!!

January 06, 2006 9:32 PM

 
Anonymous maya said...

it's getting more messy...can anybody believe this guy...???
another bomb dropped by khaddam!!!


http://www.asharqalawsat.com/details.asp?section=11&article=341895&issue=9901

January 06, 2006 9:53 PM

 
Blogger Yazan said...

Maya.. yup the Syria i'm talkin about is the 30s 40s and half of the 50s... it's the syria u'll find when u read Khaled Azm's Diaries

visit cocktail4.blogspot.com ;)

Yes Maya for a chauvinist dreamer like me, believing in one's ability is half the way there, and being a Syrian, well that's what's fully needed

It sounds stupid, again.. but that's how I feel... now back to reality... ofcourse the regime's been successful in turning 40yrs worth of generations into a mere nothingness... and flatness.. i aknowledge that fact.. but again, look back and see how easy it is ressurect... ;) we just need to break the "status quo"... we just need any form of change.. and then I'll gladly let the ppl lead their way to freedom.. cuz they know that way...

On FEBRUARY 1st... DON'T GO OUTSIDE
that's a civil move started on Amarji's blog.. check
http://amarji.blogspot.com/

for a start ;)
welcome home Maya

January 07, 2006 1:17 AM

 
Anonymous MaYa said...

i usually have a big ear to ear smile as soon as i get on a plane back to sham...just listening to people speaking "souri" is sooo nice...you can't imagine how much you'll miss little things like that till after you leave...

listening to "silent all these years" by tori amos perfect song

January 07, 2006 5:42 AM

 
Blogger Yazan said...

i got lots of ppl recommending tori amos!!!! but still, I donno..

Welcome home again, I'm missing every little detail alreay!!!!
Try to make the best of ur stay here!!! I'm thinking i wanna move to damas myself for the nect couple of months!

January 07, 2006 6:10 AM

 
Anonymous maya said...

thanx...mat wassee 7arees!!

January 07, 2006 6:55 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its arguable that Byblos and Jericho are older cities, just stating facts. Facts as in Syria killed Hariri, or Syria raped lebanon's economy for 30 years and now its gonna get it in the ass from the world community, fact as in your president is a moron and cares nothing about his people, fact as in Lebanese people never liked syrians .Fact as in syrians cant handle the Truth and like to blame israel for everything, Fact as in the only hope for Syria now is a democratic revolution luanched by Khadam but baath's party idiots like Maya are rejecting it. Fact as in Farouk Shara3 is a political Joke my 6 year old cusion can argue better than him, he was a luaghing stock at the UN secruity council, fact as in Shannon is a lesbian, fact as in I feel sympathy for the Syrian people but u brought this onto your selves when you chanted "like cows" Bil roo7 bil dam nafdika ya hafez, then bashar, so you literally gave your blood and souls to these idiots what have you guys got in return besides poverty, and 3 years of military service.
fact as in you dont have the balls to keep this comment !

January 08, 2006 7:33 AM

 
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