"To the impartial eye, the world not only seems an unlikely one-off phenomenon, but a constant strain on reason. If reason exists, that is, if a neutral reason exists. So speaks the voice from within. So speaks Joker's voice." - Jostein Gaarder

Saturday, December 31, 2005

My dear ex Vice-President!

Mr. Abdul-Halim Khaddam, talking about a country...
Is it the same person who served as vice-president for the last 35 years?!!

Let's go through these years in witch he "served and gave the Nation the best of himslef" as he said... shall we?
1970 Haffez Assad comes to power after a military coup... Khaddam is there.
1978-1986 Massive raids and strikes and arrests against ALL political factions of syria, from the very very Left to the very very Right wingers!.. Syria having its WORST days regarding individual/public freedoms since the ottoman occupation... ofcourse he was here.. serving us his best!
1986-mid 1990s... Syria having its WORST economic situation since the ottomans... ofcourse he was here STARVING with the ppl, and waiting in line for a piece of bread!
2001... a crush down of newly emerging political freedoms that resulted in the arrest of Damascus Spring symbols... among them MP - Riyad Seif, Professor Aaref Dalileh, MP - Maamoun Al-Homsi... ofcourse, he was lecturing about democracy then...

I'm tearing apart when he's speaking on Arabiya.. I have this urging feeling to just throw anything at the TV... I feel biiterness, I feel pain, I feel humiliated infront of millions... I wanna cry, I wanna call him a Liar, I wanna lose this feeling of being a Nothing in my own country... while murderers like Khaddam make the News...

No Mr. Khaddam, ur not a part of this Nation... and u're no better than any of the regime left here, if not WORSE than most of em... u're of those ppl who cold bloodedly bombed a CITY.. a Syrian City with Syrian INNOCENT ppl living there... Hama [only 5% of the body count was of the MuslimBrotherhood]... u're of those ppl who watched the Massacre of Tadmor without as much as a blink, no u're worse.. u might be smarter.. but u're still a criminal to me...

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Milad Majeed

What's worse than catching Flu while ur in Homs (the gloomiest and most bitterly-freezing place on this planet) at ur grandma's place with about 12 grandkids jumping around like total maniacs 24/7???!!!
Well, it's ur uncle tryna cheer ya up with the most absurd analysis of EVERYTING.. ranging from "Why Microsoft emplyees are going straight to hell?!" through "Syria's cleverness in defusing the international pressure and succeeding in convincing the US to pull out of Iraq [Don't ask me to elaborate on this one, plz]" to the very favourite "Janblatt, Hariri Jr. and Hmade are down the toilette! Thanx to the [previously mentioned] Syrian Cleverness!"...

regardless from these painful 2 days...

A new year is turning... A new birthday for Jesus!!! I wonder if anyone had so many ppl throwing birthday parties for him, I wonder if there ever will be... on some occaisions I wonder if There ever IS!!!

Again, regardless from that stupid probability... Milad Majeed everyone...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Three

This pic was taken just yesterday 2am at Latakia Korniche.. (Maad, Zeid, Me).. by Zied's Cam put on Long Exposure

for the first time since this whole japan thing kicked off I felt how much I'm gonna miss everything, everbody and every moment here.. just five minutes back i was thinking for the flight route, now all I can think of is how much Im gonna miss the Tijara hang out after university, 3asafiry, Latakia.. ppl... the rainy sleepy city of mine.. and above all my two very bestfriends.. I was struck by the fact that I'm gonna be all alone there without someone to talk to whenever I want to... at least the for the first couple of months... I was struck by the fact that these ppl who made up my world for the last 5yrs are not gonna be just around the corner anymore... we're no longer gonna meet by the Awqaf building for the thursday hungout.. the only 2 ppl in this world who have a duplicate emotional history of mine, the only 2 who have the very same psycho-tendencies of mine, the only 2 who I can shout at sometime just to get it off my chest.. the ppl who each had 30% effect on building my whole life just as I had that same effect on each!!.. I might never see them again...
When we had our first totally wasted night, it was only me and maad and that Panasonic VideoCam... but throughout the video u'd hear someone shouting Zeid's stupidity for not coming.. the three of us who had recorded the first News Cast from "Wak Wak TV" in 2002.. and we'd spend hours laughing at ppl we don't even know how they look like... it's stupid.. it's just stupid.
Maad is now looking to finish MedSchool and go for MA in France, Zeid's gonna apply for a US scholarship and me Japan, we couldn't have drifted any further apart...
These are the only ppl I know who'd spend a whole evening just wandering through the street carrying a stolen 15kg pole with them.. aimlessly!
I'm just in a state of denial right now.. it's the first time I thought about it.. and it's just eating me alive, at least right now, for a sec I wished we could just stay here... just always be in college, and always have those ppl in Tijara to talk about... the same ppl we never get bored talking,mocking,laughing,spotting,hitting on,following... just living...
I have dozens and dozens of pictures with a set of 3 guys in it...

I'm just afraid of the fact that ten years from now this post might sound funny and stupid... I'm afraid of such probability!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Incoherent Bullshit, Yet another self-obsessed post!


to anyone who's still checking this stupid corner...
I seriously miss blogging, I miss the feeling of recieving comments and going into an argument with someone.... I donno why I haven't been blogging... I could say I was busy... but it depends on the definition of the whole "BUSY" status...

I'm not a happy person... that's a fact... me, I'm not a happy person, I hope it's not a criteria thing, just a a little flu that comes and goes, but definitley, I haven't been such a happy person lately...

I mean, I have an almost perfect life... [to my perspective]... and not just the instaneous prespective...

2 days ago, I was notified to being officially a grantee for the MEXT (Monbusho) Scholarship... I'm now an official student in the Tokyo University for Foriegn Affairs. The oldest language school in Japan.
I've always been [and still] a dreamer, a day dreamer even. and I was always amazed of how an hour of dreaming can lift me up to the sky on time of crisis...
An hour of good music with an emotional breakdown has always been enough for me to get over anything.. anything in this world...
I've always been surrounded by the most amazingly unique ppl on this part of the universe...
I have quite a few ppl who honestly care for me... and whom I don't think I can't ever start to describe how much I love them in return...
I already have some stuff that I'm proud of..
I have such high hopes and ambitions that I could never be actually bored of living, or even fulfilled...
I have so much proud over my belonging to the human kind, and to this particular part of the human kind history.. that millions of years of extinction can't take away...
+ The fact that I totally love my new scarf, and sweater, and the fact that some ppl actually like it too...

but not now, I'm just not such a happy person at the time being...

I hate not knowing the WHYs... I hate thinking that "I am... " just like that... I hate this feeling of vulnerability all the sudden...

I have so many names in my life, I wanna mention everything I remember.. for someday, I will be grateful [just like now] for knowing each one of em... even if it was for just a quick tour or a chat over a drink...
I wanna feel like I connect, it helps me through this unhappy flu...

names of my life... in no particular order.. just the order of my memory-neuro messages arrival...
so very bad and good memories with each of these names... I envy myself for knowing them, even the ones that were nothing but bittereness... I'm not I can remember all.. but..

zeid, maad, radwan, bashar, may, zena, bashar, dimah, sarah, bero, yaser, ayman, rami, basel, sandi, ania, anna, tsouler, jonas, jon, dan, audrey, sophie, ihsan, sinan, nuha, ghalia, sara, amr, lama, dora, hamdi, nazih, sarar, maha, lujain, faustin, josef, muhammed, alaa, may, kinda, susu, yara, bassam, hassan, tammam, hassan, muhammed, waheeb, ziad, khdr, fattoum, hala, humam, hussam, manal, mustafa, tsuzuki, daichi, lena, hiba, reem, may, ann, daniel, danial, roba, issa, shadi, hasan, fadi, lubna, ali, ola, alaa, karam, iyas, giacomo..........................................

I know this post isn't even near being coherent, and it isn't even near being, it doesn't have to, just as U don't have to read it... The point is that I wanted to make myself feel better, I need that... even worse, I WANT THAT!
some ppl actually think that I'm a a hydrophobic anti-regulations wild someone... some actually introduce me as a rebel.... I'm not, I'm actually one of the most regulated ppl I've ever seen... I'm not against Law, never was, never will be... When "life" wants to dis-order stuff, there's a billion ways to do it, She doesn't need our help... I even doubt that we can offer any...

"Ya rait, int w ana bel bayt, shi bayt ab3ad bayt, ya rait" Fairouz - Ya Rait... how thankful should I be, to be able to feel this outragoues gracefulness and geniusness of the "Fairouz Phenomenon"...
On a broader level, being an individual human means in core that I'm the ONE AND ONLY carrier of BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of years of development and selection and mutations and catastrophies and coincidences that all gather up to form this one and ONLY DNA structure... all these ppl and creatures before me have managed to survive and pass me a part of their DNA, my ancestors going back to the first mammel that roamed this earth, to the first Shrew... all of these organisms have done their share to the world... and I am the product of 15 billion years following the great explosion... I am the direct product of that great explosion, the same one that's responsible for this very "unique" universe...


Ana meen, w enta meen, ya ne7na almensyeen" Fairouz - Ya 2lby la tet3eb 2alabak.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

An Observer

I'm obviously in no mood for writing... nor analysing, nor thinking positively in any other way... just observing.....

It makes a lot of difference reading a blog when u're actually familiar with the person behind it, it makes it more intersting to see how he reflects on his blog...
I'm fortunate to have known most of the Syrian bloggers in person... I just wanna share my passive observing period on this blog...

I have to start with one of the most amazingly unique posts in a while on Zena's Brutally Honest...
I have been recieving comments from "someone" that are quite intersting, so I decided to gather them all and add them in this post....


From Ayman's The Damascene Blog...
I've been asked why I have not posted in a long time. The answer is that I don't have anything to write....


Ihsan's My Thoughts and Notes...
Can selfishness be isolated from love? Any kind of love, a mother’s, a partner’s, a sibling’s or a friend’s?...


Ammar Abdulhamid's Zandaqa...

ربما يكون الشعب أعزل، وربما تكون المعارضة ضعيفة، لكن هذا لايغيّر شيئاً من حقيقة إفلاس النظام وفساده، ومن حقيقة كونه الطرف المسؤول الأول و الأخير عن وصول سورية الوطن إلى حافة هذه الهاوية التي تتراءى أمام أعيينا الرافضة اليوم.



Sinan's MFLS...
It’s funny how weak we are, how easily we can get depressed if somehow someone or something finds a way to our insecurities, and how we enjoy our destructive behavior, no matter how much it makes us suffer...


and finally... Zeid's flickr photos...

Friday, December 02, 2005

Palestine...

I never want to get into a discussion about the Palestinian issue, because, most definitley I will be misunderstood... and I would definitley never blog about it, this -nonetheless- is too intersting to ignore...

People want to know what I, a Jewish guy, think about Israel.

I want to make something clear. I live in New York. I am from New York. I do not have a right and do not want a right to "return" to Israel. I never was there. I want to skip all the arguments about whether or not today's Jews descend from the people of the Old Testament. I don't care if I do or I don't. It doesn't matter nor should it.

The territory that is known to many as Palestine had been peopled by Arabic speaking folks for centuries, mainly they were Muslims, many were Christians, and a few of them Jewish too. Most of those people were kicked out of their lands and homes in 1948 by people like David Ben Gurion and Ariel Sharon and more were expelled in 1967. They are the ones who have a right to return, not me.

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