"To the impartial eye, the world not only seems an unlikely one-off phenomenon, but a constant strain on reason. If reason exists, that is, if a neutral reason exists. So speaks the voice from within. So speaks Joker's voice." - Jostein Gaarder

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Cold Water...

Fantasies are all i can think of right now, I'm in such a hollow phase I can only live inside my day-dreams...
The Caucasus is one of those fantasies..
I wanna go there, I wanna go to this strange part of the world, this hidden world of contradictions. Azerbaijan, Georgia and Armenia... I wanna go see all these places mentioned in "Ali and Nino", I wanna see Karabakh and the town of Shusha with its "5000 years old church", I wanna taste the "Kashitian wine", I wanna retrace the Ali and Nino through Tblisi, the city of Queen Tamar, and have a bath at the the sulfur springs there, I wanna see the "most beautiful women in the world" - Georgian Women, I wanna draw the borders between Asia and Europe, The old wall in Baku and the Old bridge in Gandsha...
I've always been into reading, but rarely a novel could move me like this one, since I read the first chapter 3 years ago it's here been with me, I've been looking for my Nino, or for my Ali... I donno exactly who to relate to!!!
I lost count of how many times I've read it so far, it just runs like the God's own Kashitian wine.
A lot of chapters there can tear me away, It's like listening to Damien Rice in an empty world.. where u can hear nothing but his voice!!
I need something that I can't figure out, I need someone that I have never met!
It's like, there's a certain feeling inside me, an overwhelming feeling that u can vividly remember and describe each and every second, and it kills ya to keep it inside, but u have to!

I donno what I'm blabing about, it's just that today I was searching for my english copy of "Ali and Nino" and I couldn't find it anywhere, it just vanished, and it felt like I lost something very basic, like losing a fact or part of me, i'm sitting in this bed since afternoon!!! it feels like crying, the overwhelming feeling of of dispair feels like waves coming from down ur stomach into ur head where u stop hearing anything for a second and then just pushes drops from ur eyes, then it just goes away... and another wave comes around again...
It's not the book, it's the feeling that what u haven't found in ur 18 years on earth, might never be found!! this tiny little possibility that I might be gone before I get a chance to describe that certain feeling to anyone... no matter how tiny and small this possibility is, at times, u feel like it's the only one, it's a small one but the only one!

cold cold water surrounds me now
and all i've got is your hand
lord can you hear me now?
lord can you hear me now?
lord can you hear me now?
lord can you hear me now?
or am i lost?
Damien Rice - Cold Water

3 Comments:

Blogger no one said...

ur lost:P

October 27, 2005 4:14 AM

 
Blogger Majd said...


I am like you ..
I have such dreams sometimes .. in a moment I can be lost ... and I don't know where I am, and suddenly I hate everything arround.
Your have real dream we all share, we want to see new ppl, we want to travel..

I hope we can do it ... we can taste the taste of life ... cause we are not alive yet.

October 28, 2005 1:15 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY!
» »

December 04, 2006 11:19 AM

 

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